nayela: (Default)
[personal profile] nayela
For most of my life, I've self-identified as an introvert. You know that handy rule of thumb that goes along the lines of 'Extroverts thrive on being around people; introverts need time alone to recharge'? I've always liked that one. It doesn't make any claims about people's actual enjoyment (or lack thereof) of social situations, or any judgements about their ability to handle human interaction. And the latter part fits me to a tee - I love my friends, but sometimes I just want to curl up alone and chill out by myself.

That feeling of 'I need a break from people' was almost constantly present during my teenage years, where I regarded other human beings largely as a threat. Those weren't good years. It took me ages to realize that being around my peer group was not necessarily a draining experience, that I could be part of a social circle without constantly watching my back. (Learning how not to alienate said social circle was a whole different can of worms...)

Fast forward to now. I still take breaks from being social when I need to - during family gatherings, games evenings, what have you. Being able to do this (because people are lovely and understand) is immensely helpful. But, the paradoxical thing is, my default method of doing so these days is hanging out on the internet and talking to more people online.

Somewhere in the past few years I've gone from being completely content all by myself to actively craving company. It's gone to the point that I'll voluntarily spend an extra night in a wet, muddy, literally freezing field just to party with my friends. And after whingeing for weeks about wanting a weekend off from traveling/doing stuff/having guests, I suddenly want nothing more than to trek out to Oxford and see if the usual suspects are up for pubbage. I think I'm losing my 'shy and retiring wallflower' cred here.

So, introvert or just poorly socialised? I'm not entirely sure anymore.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 12:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trail-of-fire.livejournal.com
so..... coming to see the Avengers movie tonight then? :)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 12:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nayela.livejournal.com
I didn't know people were going, but since you mention it I just might. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trail-of-fire.livejournal.com
we just threw the idea today, 20:20 at Magdalen Street. Shall I ask Ivan to see if he can get you a seat with us? :)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nayela.livejournal.com
That would be cool, thank you. Who else is going?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trail-of-fire.livejournal.com
My Joff, Ivan, Ellie, Joe & Oliver, maybe Jenny - not sure how many of these you know. They are the good people though. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trail-of-fire.livejournal.com
(my Joff.... as opposed to all the other Oxford Joffs. Clearly)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 12:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nayela.livejournal.com
Well, I know your Joff, and I know one Ellie and one Jenny in Oxford, so we'll see if those are the same ones.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] rjw76
Talking on the internet doesn't "count" for me in terms of taking up Interacting With People tokens because I can do it on my own terms, stop when I need to, and not have to deal with ten people talking at once while I sit in a corner and try to follow them.

It's a different *sort* of socialising, so perhaps we need different definitions of introvert and extravert, based around the preferred type of human interaction rather than whether or not it tires them out?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-28 02:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nayela.livejournal.com
I think that the introvert/extrovert distinction is a spectrum, like so many other things, and not the dichotomy it's often made out to be.

Point about the physical presence of other people making a huge difference. On the other hand, it's still something I seek out far more than I used to.

I think these days I just know far more people that actually click with, and who seem to enjoy my company in return. I can remember that being a rare and unexpected thing. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-27 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scionofgrace.livejournal.com
I'm gonna say you're still an introvert, but perhaps your tolerance has improved?

It matters a great deal to me whether I'll be interacting with strangers or people I know well. Good friends, who I trust, I can "stand" for way longer, and I'll actively miss them. I rarely want to meet new people.

And the Internet is a whole different ballgame, since the interaction isn't direct.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-28 11:53 am (UTC)
izzet_engineer: (Default)
From: [personal profile] izzet_engineer
...I think you just wrote down half of what my brain's been doing recently.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-04-28 02:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nayela.livejournal.com
Oh? Cool. What's the other half, then?

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