Time to go

Apr. 8th, 2017 12:36 pm
nayela: (by birdyjae)
I've had this journal since 2002. Good grief that's nearly half my lfe. I've written a lot of pointless drivel in it. I've also had some wonderful discussions through it, things that helped me immensely at the time. And a big reason I'm still here is the fic communities.

Still, looks like it's time to tidy up my internet presence and move on.

I've had a Dreamwidth account for a while; I might actually start to use it. Same name - see you over there. :)
nayela: (by birdyjae)
I went a little bit overboard while I was in town today. I came home with no fewer than seven different things that will make me or my house or my bathwater smell amazing. Some of them I can combine; others are best on their own. I'd blame this on playing a character possessed of hyperactive, constantly-hungry senses, but as all of her sensory tics and obsessions are just mine ramped up to 11, that's not an excuse that'll hold water. :D

I can now, if I so choose, smell of rosemary, citrus and spices; of smoky sandalwood and honey, or of cherry blossom for a very different mood. Some of these scents will be claimed by characters, some will be just for me. And when I put them on they'll remind me of nights under the stars, of being beside myself with drama, of being hopeful or flirtatious or gleefully horrid, with all the pleasant distraction and encouragement those memories bring.

The other day I was thinking of mine and [livejournal.com profile] lordofthewheel's wedding, and Shenanigans, and all the other brilliant parties I've been to in recent years, and it struck me how different my life is now from how it was ten years ago - five years ago, even. Look at us now - all us kids who had no friends at school, all us teenagers who felt they'd got lost on the wrong planet, us twentysomethings who threw no birthday parties because we knew nobody would show up, us lonely students who lived vicariously through the internet wondering when our lives would start, or if we'd ever find love, or if we were irredeemably broken - look at us now. We're building tribes, making friends, losing friends, picking each other up, breaking hearts, raising families, weaving relationships in new shapes that suit us, and maybe we won't die alone, after all. We've turned out all right. We're going to be okay.
nayela: (by birdyjae)
I'm on half days at the moment, due to there being buggerall to do at work. They did train me on a filler project, but just looking at the spreadsheet was enough to set off the 'ohgods what am I doing with my life' chorus in my head. So, less money but more afternoons. I think I'm still winning this one.

Until work picks up again, there's a ton of stuff I've been meaning to do but putting off indefinitely. Behold my mighty to do list! Posted for accountability, and stuff.

This week:

  • Ring plumber and get bathroom tap sorted

  • Look into Ecotricity

  • (Addendum: sort out horribly sloppy record keeping. Argh.)

  • Ring up AA to book Pass Plus

  • Order more storage for war room

  • Book an eye check

  • Cook and freeze a batch of veggie soup

  • Cook and freeze a batch of bolognaise

  • Clean kitchen

  • Clean study

  • Clean bedroom

  • Figure out how to crochet skulls: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/13229392628719701/

Within the next two weeks:

  • Switch energy suppliers

  • Get new glasses

  • Assemble new shelving

  • Unfuck the pile of stuff currently living on the war room sofa

  • Get Pete to unfuck the towering pile of armour and scraps in the corner

  • Get some varnish for the gazebo

  • Sand and paint the thing before it succumbs to rot - finally finished halfway through March

  • Actually get in the car and drive on a regular basis - scuppered by flat battery. Did have my first Pass Plus lesson, though.

Before going back to full time in April:

  • Decide on where to go for our honeymoon, and book it

  • Get at least partway through Pass Plus

  • Zap car back to life like a mad scientist

  • Go for a drive to charge up the battery

  • Make new dress for Animatium

  • Overthrow the Patriarchy

  • Build volcano lair

  • Take over humanity's collective subconscious via the medium of owl memes

Sounds doable, right?


Dec. 3rd, 2013 02:01 pm
nayela: (by birdyjae)
Today is brought to you by a sudden and overwhelming yearning to get off this island. It seems strange that I haven't left the UK in three years. I used to be on and off planes every few months, bouncing back and forth between here and Germany. Before that, I took ridiculous bus journeys all around Europe every summer.

The last proper holiday abroad I had was in 2008, visiting Carrie in Canada. I still count it as one of the best things I've ever done. I still can't believe it was that long ago. Last time I left the country was the trip to Eurocon in 2010, but I can't really count that - we went to visit my parents first, and my mental health took a dive off the deep end for the rest of the trip.

My job situation has been too precarious, and money too thin on the ground, for us to have a honeymoon this year. Now it's been more stable for a few months, I return to my old conviction that travel is one of the most worthwhile things I don't strictly need.

I want to see Iceland in the middle of summer, when it never truly gets dark. I want to take a ferry out to the Greek islands the cheapskate way, sleeping on the deck and watching the moon on the water. I want to spend a couple of weeks somewhere I can roll out of bed and walk out into dunes and down to the water's edge, where the air smells of summer and sea. All my best memories involve being sleep deprived and far from home.
nayela: (Default)
For most of my life, I've self-identified as an introvert. You know that handy rule of thumb that goes along the lines of 'Extroverts thrive on being around people; introverts need time alone to recharge'? I've always liked that one. It doesn't make any claims about people's actual enjoyment (or lack thereof) of social situations, or any judgements about their ability to handle human interaction. And the latter part fits me to a tee - I love my friends, but sometimes I just want to curl up alone and chill out by myself.

That feeling of 'I need a break from people' was almost constantly present during my teenage years, where I regarded other human beings largely as a threat. Those weren't good years. It took me ages to realize that being around my peer group was not necessarily a draining experience, that I could be part of a social circle without constantly watching my back. (Learning how not to alienate said social circle was a whole different can of worms...)

Fast forward to now. I still take breaks from being social when I need to - during family gatherings, games evenings, what have you. Being able to do this (because people are lovely and understand) is immensely helpful. But, the paradoxical thing is, my default method of doing so these days is hanging out on the internet and talking to more people online.

Somewhere in the past few years I've gone from being completely content all by myself to actively craving company. It's gone to the point that I'll voluntarily spend an extra night in a wet, muddy, literally freezing field just to party with my friends. And after whingeing for weeks about wanting a weekend off from traveling/doing stuff/having guests, I suddenly want nothing more than to trek out to Oxford and see if the usual suspects are up for pubbage. I think I'm losing my 'shy and retiring wallflower' cred here.

So, introvert or just poorly socialised? I'm not entirely sure anymore.
nayela: (Default)
I came across a very useful phrase the other day: reward behaviour. It's a technical term that I hadn't encountered before, but makes perfect sense for a certain set of patterns.

A main point of this recent 'unfuck your habitat' campaign is actually changing my reward behaviour. Right now, the majority of my evenings go like this: 'Come home from work, cook, eat, spod around online looking at shiny things, pass out when tired.' I'm attempting to change this script to: 'Come home, cook, eat, do some useful stuff, brag about it on the internet, then spod around online looking at shiny things.' The 'brag about it' part is essential. People reward me for it by giving me attention and generally acknowledging my existence. This is a HUGE incentive. I also get to feel like I achieved something. But really, the actual result of uncluttered living space is almost a side effect in the larger context of changing unhelpful habits.

Speaking of which, progress continues.

Stuff: Achieved )

Special mention needs to be made of [livejournal.com profile] lordofthewheel, because he rocks. When I got in from work last night, I found the laundry done, the kitchen tidied and wiped down, and he spontaneously helped with the great assault on the underbed space by repacking all the camping rolls and air beds we keep there. I think my bout of getting things done-ness is rubbing off on him. He claims he did it so he doesn't have to feel guilty. :p Whichever it is, it's an enormous help and five shades of awesome.

Next goal: wardrobe. (Muahahaha.)
nayela: (Default)

So, a few days ago I started following Unfuck Your Habitat. Apart from large amounts of cheerful swearing and a steadfast belief that baking soda and vinegar are magical, it has helpful advice on how to form a healthy relationship with your clutter, and useful tips on how to kill said clutter in the face.

The method reminds me of what [livejournal.com profile] bardling said about completion a few days ago: Tackle stuff in small, manageable chunks, with breaks, one thing at a time. The 'power of some' is mighty indeed.

The best thing about it, though, is that all those success stories on there are infectious. While housework as such is not one of my particular demons, procrastination is. We go waaay back, procrastination and I. But after a few days of looking at before and after pictures, I actually felt motivated to join in. For bragging rights.

Stuff, it got done! )

Tonight, the bedroom. Tomorrow, THE WORLD.

(X-posted from tumblr. Apologies to people I've spammed twice.)


Dec. 22nd, 2011 01:08 am
nayela: (Default)
Things get better from here. That's my resolution. Considering how good things have got so far, I rather look forward to it. Hell, my life isn't anywhere near free of problems, but I know when I'm onto something good.

Last year, [livejournal.com profile] lordofthewheel and I spent Midwinter curled up in front of the fire in our new house. (That's also when we decided to get married, but then didn't tell anyone until August. Actual wedding next year and all that. :D) Anyway, this year we headed out to Brighton to see the Burning of the Clocks.

I've got this soppy affection for Brighton. I'm never there long enough to notice any of its flaws, plus it's full of lovely people - I seem to meet more of them every year. As we were walking along the sea front today, I realised I've known this place for over seven years now. Still seems it was just the other year that I first came for a visit. Bloody hell, how time flies.

Back then, I was fresh out of school and a little unsure about whether I'd get into uni. All my future was hanging in the balance. But I knew even then that I'd be back, and the years went by and I came back over and over again and built a life here. And today we stood on the Promenade together, with the sound of the sea and the drums in our ears, and watched the bonfire on the beach and the fireworks above, and it was exactly what a Winter Solstice should be. One of the ways, anyway.

I'd say I wish I'd known about all of these things way back when. But I think I could see the shape of them even then, vaguely enough. Can you see it? All ye spirits of Christmas Past, can you see it?

Merry Solstice, everyone.

nayela: (Default)

G'wan. I'm curious what you think.

(Also, might want to do a real post one of these days. In short: work is crazy, life is good, escapism is better, 'tis the season to be living in a field. See most of you there. :D)

Utter Win

Sep. 16th, 2010 03:40 pm
nayela: (Default)

[livejournal.com profile] lordofthewheel and I have just bought a house.

That is all. :D :D :D


Jan. 25th, 2010 08:13 pm
nayela: (Default)
It's been a blah day and I could really do with cheering up, so here's a fluffy meme. Stolen from... well, it's all over my friends list really. :)

Comment here, and I'll give you one reason why I like you. Repost and spread the love. Or don't repost and spread the love however you feel.


Dec. 1st, 2009 10:26 pm
nayela: (Default)
Five years ago today, I moved out of my parents' house and into my first apartment. That was probably the single best thing I've ever done.

My first place was in halls, tiny, with standard-issue furniture and increasingly full of silverfish--the whole building had them. On a whim, I gave it a name: Atlantis, due to the movie poster I'd stuck to the wall. One of my reasons for moving there was to be closer to uni, but I have to admit that during the next two years or so, I partied more than I studied. I made friends with people halfway across the world and fell into ungodly sleeping habits; this was the place I shared with [livejournal.com profile] lordofthewheel for a week on his first visit, and History Happened. Personal history, anyway. :)

In July '07, I moved into a basement flat a stone's throw from campus, which I shared with a girl I'd met in class. Nearly all the papers of my uni carreer were written there, including the thesis, because after two years of slacking off I had a lot of writing to catch up on. Many, many night shifts were pulled, but that hardly mattered because my room got next to no daylight anyway. On the up side, I had space. Lots of it. Shame only that towards the end of my lease, a pipe in the bathroom broke the tiniest bit and sneakily soaked my wall over the weeks it took me to discover the huge damp patch. Joy. It was a good place though; I don't miss the flat, but I did like the neighbourhood, and I've been back a couple of times to wander around my old haunts.

My current flat is nominally in halls again, but privately run, and I was able to bring my own furniture. Worlds of difference. It's a lovely little place, and it has a name again: Riverbank. That's what the German street name translates to, for one thing, and I can actually watch the ships go by right outside my window. (Considering the 'Winter in the Willows' larp that is currently brewing and will no doubt do horrible things to my childhood, this amuses me to no end.) I won't be living here long; I'm planning to move out in February and get settled in England. With [livejournal.com profile] lordofthewheel . Let's see how we fare when we're genuinely stuck with each other. :)
nayela: (Default)
My way of celebrating my newly won freedom from uni commitments: get a load of stuff done that I've been putting off. So far this has included cleaning my flat, cooking proper meals, and going through the mountains of photocopies that getting a degree left in its wake. My glamourous life, let me show you it... But I can't really complain about that, because my parents took me out for a posh lunch on Sunday and we swanked it up for all we were worth, which was extremely nice.

Even more so since I have a few days of mash and apple sauce to look forward to, because today I went and had two wisdom teeth pulled. That's another thing crossed off the 'to do' list, except in a week I get to do it all again for the other two. Sigh. What I could really do without is the general weirdness of my metabolism: face still numb up to my ears and unable to feel my own tongue, I had to drop an Ibuprofen on the way home because the places where my teeth were started to hurt. How? And more importantly, whyyy?

That wasn't the worst of it, though. I asked to take my teeth home, because I felt I deserved some kind of trophy.
I'll be stuck not doing much of anything for the next couple of days. The book I bought on the way to the dentist's is a hilarious level of bad; any company, IMs, links and general entertainment thrown my way would be appreciated. :)


Oct. 15th, 2009 09:45 pm
nayela: (Default)
Hot off the press, the latest edition of 'It takes a special kind of stupid': after washing out a pair of gloves in the bathroom sink, I discover that the plug is jammed in its hole beyond retrieving. Attempts to lever it out with fingernails, knife blade etc. spectacularly unsuccessful. I guess getting one of those rubber suction thingies is my next step, before finding that this also fails and having to attack the plumbing from the other side. Just saying, when you get the news I drowned in my own bathroom, this'll be why.

To round off the complete pointlessness of this post, have some pixel dragons.

Egg ImageHatchling ImageEgg ImageHatchling ImageEgg Image
nayela: (Travel)
So, I seem to recall saying I'd update this thing more. Well. Damn.

It's been a busy summer. A very very good summer too, but packed. Let's see...

Uni, the universe, and everything )

Backtracking a bit. At the end of July, my flatmate up and left me, going to America for her year abroad. So [livejournal.com profile] lordofthewheel moved in for a few weeks, passed his German course with flying colours, and was generally awesome to have around. I could get used to living with this bloke. :) We had a brief visit from [personal profile] kai_kay too, which was lovely. Lots of wandering about the town, sightseeing and ice cream all round. Moreover, I got to introduce her to my parents, and we all had a day out together which everyone survived. Language barrier, we scoff at thee.

And then I moved house. )

I've only just got settled in properly, because three days after the move I wandered off to England again. Among other things,lots of larp was had. )

In between, Pete and I made a brief trip to Brighton for [livejournal.com profile] luckykaa 's birthday bash. Met lots of lovely people, forgot lots of names, but I see [livejournal.com profile] tictactoepony has friended me, so hi. *waves enthusiastically* Not to mention that whole conversation about 'Winter in the Willows' larp, and the project it has already spawned. [livejournal.com profile] flannelcat , you're a lousy instigator and I really look forward to what happens next. :D

Back home now, and elbow deep in exam topics and stuff I want to write instead of studying. In other words, life as usual.

nayela: (Default)
Taking a break from last minute pre-deadline madness to squee incoherently and grin in a possibly deranged fashion because this page here:


 makes me incredibly happy in oh so many ways.

That is all.

(Deadline is the 14th. Expect no sense from me before then.)

Day trip

Mar. 25th, 2009 07:59 pm
nayela: (Default)
Today, I did something I'd been meaning to do for weeks: I got on a train to Oppenheim, climbed up to the ruined castle above the town, climbed what's left of the tower, and had lunch there.

The weather wasn't ideal, gusty wind with spatterings of rain, but I figured I wasn't going to get any better this week. This little hike was part of my 'lose some of that unnecessary blubber' campaign--since thirteen years of PE have given me a lingering hatred for anything commonly labled 'sports', I avoid gyms like the plague and take myself for walks instead. Seems to be working so far. While not very high, that hill is pretty steep, but I had to stop and wheeze for breath only once, about two thirds up. So I managed a lot better than last summer.

Oppenheim is a typical little riverside town, lots of cobbled streets and old watchtowers, surrounded by vinyards, and very quiet and pretty. It's so small you can see the whole of it from the castle ruins. Because it's more or less built into a hillside, it is full of steep narrow stairs in odd places to connect the different tiers. Quite a bit like Edinburgh, on a smaller scale. It's also full of tunnels--the whole place is built on a maze of underground passages dating back to the Middle Ages, with a few layers of old town in between.

There's an annual reenactors' market, which provides a minibus shuttle service from the station to the castle. When I went there last summer, said mimubus contained (barely) the driver, yours truly, and five armed-and-armoured-to-the-teeth saxons. Good times.

What with sitting around on trains and platforms, I managed to tackle my ever growing pile of photocopied lit, and carve a chunk out of it. I've reached a point where I might actually be able to write something without being crushed by paranoia about my appalling lack of research. That will be tomorrow's challenge.

I shall leave you with the most adorable thing I've seen today:

Cat and Fennec )
nayela: (Default)
I stayed up for about 30 hours straight yesterday. Again. My body seems to get confused about time zones, and my bedtime sneaks ever closer to dawn, and I find myself waking up around three in the afternoon. The drawback of being done with classes: the thesis deadline is too far away to get me out of bed.

(www.xkcd.com/448 <--Yep, this is me.)

So from Wednesday to Thursday, I skipped sleep entirely. Crashed at 9 pm or so, slept through the night for a change, and was awake by eight. The results are rather startling. So far I've got more reading done today than in the last four days together, walked for an hour, shopped for some small necessities, and cleaned my entire flat. (The bathroom is technically Steffi's job, but a) she's not here right now and b) I felt one could only get dirtier in there the way it was...) What with all this domesticity, I should go out tonight and make up for it--if only that wouldn't switch me back to nocturnal in no time flat. It's disconcerting how much more productive I am when I put mornings at the right end of the day.

Also, it's the equinox today. Happy spring/autumn, depending on where you are. :)

Edit: my new desktop picture.
Hungry? Don't click. )


nayela: (Default)

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